I’m always seeking out activities to do with the teenagers I work with. Much of the time, an activity I find seems either too young or too old and “boring” for this specific population. While most teens are able to participate just fine with traditional talk therapies, I still like the idea of mixing it up a little sometimes to keep it more interesting and engaging for them, especially while we’re still getting to know each other.

I created the Getting to Know You Card Game on a whim one day when I was trying to figure out a good way to get to know a particularly new teenage client of mine. She was a wonderful, bright girl who was pretty shy and I felt somewhat intrusive in our first few sessions just asking questions and getting mostly short-form answers because of her timidness. I was intrigued and I wanted to know more about her, and she was wanting to talk but couldn’t seem to find the words or the courage to open up to someone still so new.

The Game

The game only requires a standard deck of playing cards and this Getting to Know You Card Game prompt page I created. Upon starting the game, ask the teen to choose a color: red or black. This will be their color suit, and the therapist (or other player) will be the other. Then deal out all the cards to both players, each receiving an equal number of cards. The cards should be left face down in a pile. Choose someone to begin (if it’s your first time playing, I recommend the therapist go first to demonstrate how to play). The first player turns over the first card at the top of their deck to reveal the card. If it’s their suit color, notice if it’s a number card, an ace, a jack, a queen, or a king. The player looks at the prompt sheet and finds the appropriate card, then completes the prompt.

For example, if I’m red and I turn over a red 2 diamond card, I look at the prompt page and find the prompt for the number 2 – “something you don’t like to do.” I would then respond with my answer for something I don’t like to do. Then it’s the next player’s turn. If they draw a card that is their suit color, they proceed to follow the above instructions. If it’s not their suit color, play resumes to the opposite player. Play continues until you both reach the bottom of your piles. At this point, I generally shuffle the cards one more time and deal the cards for a second round, so as to keep the conversation going. You can do this as many times as you’d like. You can also switch color suits if you’d like. There are no losers in this game, but by the end you both know each other a little better.

The Prompts

The only rule of the game is that you provide a different answer each time you’re prompted to give an answer. For instance, if I draw two red 2 cards, the prompt is the same but I can’t give the same answer twice.

The prompt page can be found by clicking below, or you can just use the list below:

Getting to Know You Card Game

Ace – something you like to do

2 – something you don’t like to do

3 – a feeling you’ve had today (describe)

4 – something that helps you feel better

5 – how I cope

6 – something I did but didn’t think I could

7 – a time I felt happy this week (or something that makes me happy)

8 – a time I felt sad this week (or something that makes me feel sad)

9 – a time I felt anxious/worried/scared this week (or something that makes me feel anxious/worried/scared)

10 – a time I felt angry this week (or something that makes me feel angry)

Jack – a time I felt _______ this week (or something that makes me feel _______)

Queen – a coping skill that I want to try/am going to try

King – a goal I’m setting for myself this week

Since I created the game, I’ve played it with kids as young as eight and have even used it with young adults in the rapport building process. Occasionally, a client will ask to play it again further into treatment – no problem! It’s always helpful and often gets some good conversations started!

Hope you have fun. Happy relationship building!